5th grade: the mask came out
I was told we were moving for a better opportunity, a better life.
But what I believed was: Here begins your middle and high school years of struggle.
My dad had many job offers as a small-town elevator manager, but I didn’t know about them. Until now.
“We have 2 offers on the table and will likely be moving. If not now, soon”.
THAT time, we ended up staying. But not for long.
But the anxiety got me and never went away. The unanswered prayers made me think that nobody was listening. And I started my path of wanting to be alone to avoid the pain of not being accepted. I felt stranded, abandoned in a weird way. I thought I was a bad person for hiding secrets from my friends and being asked what was wrong. I found myself crying in class – feeling sad and just wanting someone to ask what was wrong so I could spill the beans even when it was a secret.
I feared that tomorrow, the net would fall. And so it began (at least the age I remember)…
= the debut of the MASK. Putting on a show so nobody knew. Protection: Defense, Guard, Shield, Fortification and Safety.
That was 30 years ago but the lessons are HUGE.
- Bust through the comfort zone
- Be yourself so that who your friends are, are your real friends
- Share your thoughts and feelings with those you love and trust. See #2
- You are never alone
Whether this represents your kids or you – what they believe at 5, 10 and 15 will form them for life. Nobody knew my struggle and that it started then. And why my behavior and actions then were aligned with how I felt about myself.