your screw-ups are part of YOU (but don’t define you)

College GPA of 1.8, academic probation

YIKES.

I was on the verge of not being eligible for basketball and affffffffraid to even speak with my parents after they got the letter.

The 2^nd worst part is that I didn’t even know. Didn’t know my grade, didn’t know what I needed to get on tests and that obviously made it look like I didn’t care that much. But I did.

the AHA Moment, Pattern Interrupt.

That’s what most would say, yet I didn’t have a clue. Instead, it was another notch on my belt showing me, convincing me that I wasn’t good enough.

Now I know that it was a defining moment in my life where I needed to choose my priorities and sacrifice some things for having others. Because every part of our life is evolution, growth and expansion into the best version of you.

Looking back at my life growing up, it was pretty seamless on the outside. Close immediate and extended family, parents were supportive with great jobs, friends and family surrounding us. But man, I was lonely. Looking to be fully accepted, not seeing my light and gifts, never being good enough – so I found myself spending more time hiding instead of stepping out. Trying to fit in instead of standing out.

As I think of all the stupid shit I did and thought, I find myself rolling my eyes, laughing (or maybe crying?!) but we all have these stories and the importance of them is how we turn our path around. They aren’t mistakes but instead another T in the road that we have the opportunity to decide which direction we will go.  Screw-ups/mistakes are there to teach us about life.

I digress, back to ACADEMICS – not my best subject at that time. Period. And not because I wasn’t smart, but I didn’t put the time in, I didn’t value it, I didn’t want to fail “trying” to get a good grade but falling on my face. I saw everything as a hoop to jump through. A short-term sacrifice for a long-term payoff. That can be beneficial in certain parts of life, just not this one. So I took the victim approach: I’m just not going to try so that it didn’t seem like I failed. Good thing that tactic didn’t last long…

Here are 3 lessons I learned from this experience and things that may be help you:

1. Where are you trying to fit in instead of stand out?
2. Where are you playing victim? Where are you showing up as less than because if you put 110% into it and still not “succeed” (whatever that means) that means you failed.
3. What things in your life are just “hoops” instead of “lessons”? And where can you give less or more energy to your life?

KEEP SCREWING UP (to learn more lessons)…

Dr. T